Being a good man – Sexy vs Crazy

Today as I was working my phone rang so I looked at my Apple Watch to see who it was. My initial thought was that it was someone in the building calling because they were having an issue, but as I looked down I say a name pop up. It had to be someone in my contacts because it showed their first name. I recognized the name but internally I couldn’t come to grips that it was the actual person whom I had not talked to in a very long time. It was an ex girlfriend of mine , we will call her Stacy.

I picked up the phone expecting something bad, something that bordered on  the death of someone in the family or a desperate plea for help with a frighting situation. As I was just about to swipe my badge in the stairwell of my building I answered the phone on my Bluetooth headset and say “Hello”. Stacy proceeded to say Hi and get to the point of her call rather quickly, as my mind still wandered what could have happened that I would get a call this early in the morning during a weekday. She proceeded to tell me she was only calling to say “Thank You”.

She told me everything was good in her life and that she was doing as good as to be expected but she wanted to thank me for setting an example of what a good man was all those years ago when we dated. I was so caught off guard but also flattered that someone would actually call me almost a decade later and tell me this. It also came on the same day that I made a decision to no longer be friends with someone I once cared about due to her irrational mindset and then felt the impending end of a semi-relationship that was being stonewalled by the other persons insecurity within themselves. One thing I have noticed as I have gotten older is my ability to see what I will not tolerate and move away quickly instead of trying to fix that person.

Getting back to Stacy’s call, I thought man this could not have come at a better time. She talked for about 10 minutes explaining things that have happened over time in her life and how she would think to herself Jared would never have allowed this or done that. As she continued to talk a lot of other things came to mind like how I have changed as a person. I feel now I am more aware of who I am, I no longer covet everything that I don’t have and I’m more in touch with what I want in a relationship but yet I am further from love than ever before. I feel a disconnect from people I meet now more than I ever did when I was younger.

I felt back then I didn’t know how to approach a woman or charm them or even get them to go out with me. Now I have the poise and charisma to do it and yet I find people who don’t meet a minimum standard most of the time. I feel so disconnected from obtaining what I truly want but have the part of me that refuses to settle for something I can’t wake up to everyday and said I made a magnificent decision. I’m somewhat vein by some peoples standards, do I think so? Absolutely! I’m a visual person and I love a wonderful story. I feel that everything about someone translates into a story about themselves. And I look at the minor details a lot of things.

The way you dress tells me how much attention you pay to how you feel. Our clothing is a huge reflection on who we are since its the one thing we get to decided on everyday. The way you take care of your hair gives me insight to your daily habits. It’s not that I expect marry a model or some celebrity although if you’re reading this and can help me with that i’m all for it! What I do want is a woman that I can be proud both physically and emotionally. As I walked around the mall searching for a gift this weekend I saw so many moms with their kids in the kind of rich area and thought I want this life.

Oh well this conversation will open up another can of worms so lets end it here. But I want to say thank you to Stacy for that phone call letting me know that everything that I am is perfect. Her words were that I am a great catch and the woman that decides to take this journey with me will have an amazing life in all aspects and I openly agree.

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